Tips for Building a Supportive and Thriving Following

Reflection and Artwork by Sebila Kratovac

We don’t need anyone to give us permission to be an artist, and we don’t even have to show our work to anyone. But what if we want to create art that is seen by others, art that helps us engage and connect with other people? I have always felt that the relationship between our self-worth and how we see ourselves in the world is closely related to how we connect with others. The journey that we take to become confident enough as creatives - to even feel worthy to have a loyal and paying audience - is essential to establishing a solid ground on which we can build our creative community and a business. A lot of us expect ourselves to follow a certain protocol toward success in order to establish a steady fan base and continuous income. Although some people are able to accomplish this, most of us have failed many times to learn important lessons in relationship building. But this journey is so valuable because it helps us cultivates confidence in who we are and freedom from caring about what the naysayers think.

In a fascinating Creative Pep Talk podcast 6 Tips on How to Build Your Following + 4 Fan Favorites CPT Ideas of all Time!, the host Andy J. Pizza talks about his own experience in building his creative community and enlists his patrons from Patreon and artist friends to talk about what helped them connect to their audience. The first challenge for us creatives is to develop courage to express our unique selves, no matter how strange and out there our creations seem to be. What comes up for me here is the concept of self-worth or value that we have to offer to the world. I believe that having courage to let our work be seen with confidence is directly proportional to how we see ourselves. Too many creatives have been rejected time and time again for different reasons. Add to it the fact that many of us are very sensitive people, it is truly marvelous that any of us make it through this step. The question to ask is: What will I give up for not having courage/initiative/stamina to show myself as I really am? Of course, taking action to expose ourselves to strangers might be a slow process for some of us but it is a necessary step on our journey.

One way for us to gain confidence is to experiment with different ways of expression and start sharing these experiments with other people until we find something that resonates with a specific audience. Guest Diana Rodriguez, an illustrator focused on body-positivity, suggests that what we put out there has to relate in some way to a specific audience through our unique style and our interests (identity, struggles, belief systems, philosophy, core values, guilty pleasures etc.). This is, in essence, our niche. Let’s say that you are really into astrology, herbalism, colorful magical art, and vegan food. You can build your art and business around these subjects with your unique twist. Personally, what I look for in an artist I want to support is uniqueness and passion for their art (and life!) and their ability to inspire me to do my thing and be my authentic self. One such artist for me is Shayna Klee (aka The Purple Palace) who truly lives a full, magical, and exuberant artist’s life and inspires me to do the same.

As we attract our specific audience, how do we stay connected without trying too hard to please our supporters? What kind of relationship or energy exchange is desirable or even appropriate with our audience? Because this is not an employee/employer relationship, there is a potential to form authentic friendship-based relationships. For me, this step is probably the most difficult one because it demands of me to get out of my comfort zone as an introvert and to risk trusting strangers. It also could be overwhelming to put in the energy needed to form deep and meaningful friendships with strangers I may never meet in person. One way to build trust with people who are supporting us is to be consistent with the quality and frequency of the creations we put out. Of course, sometimes we will not be able to accomplish this but, since we have developed a relationship based on trust, our audience is very likely to be understanding if we slip up sometimes, especially if we explain what is going on. If we think of our audience as collaborators or “climbing partners” as Andy calls them in the podcast, we can view the relationship from a less uptight perspective. We can see that actually we are supporting our audience as well, that we are helping our patrons achieve their dreams.

I am coming back again to what I feel is essential in creating authentic relationships: vulnerability and trust. Another podcast guest, expressive character illustrator Fran Meneses, points out that honesty and vulnerability is the key to building a creative following, even if it means risking negative feedback. It takes this openness to put ourselves out there on Patreon, GoFundMe, YouTube, or any other social media platform to potentially see great rewards. Many creatives struggle to break through this exposure barrier. What has helped me on my journey is to take small steps and work on myself first, to really understand my resistance to opening up to strangers online. It is truly inner work and, if not pursued, can be something that can keep us away from wonderful experiences in life. The biggest lesson I learned is that trust attracts trust. There are exceptions but the risk is worth the effort! For me, patience for myself while allowing myself to make important changes in my life rather than forcing myself to do something I am not comfortable with is a priority. But, maybe it is about not taking ourselves too seriously and committing to having more fun in our lives. As our vibration rises, being able to trust could just be a side effect of living an authentic and joyful life - and then abundance follows.

If you are looking for a boost of creative community in these isolated times: LISTEN TO THIS NOW!!! This episode gave me some serious feelings and I can not wait for you to hear it!! This episode is made up from 3 tips from me, 3 special guests and YOU our patreon backers!!

Recognizing Your Secret Powers: A Survival Guide for Introverts

Reflection and Artwork by Sebila Kratovac

Navigating my life as an introvert, I have realized that many people have the wrong idea about introversion and, to make things more confusing, even introverts don’t truly understand how they differ from extroverts. From my perspective, the biggest myth about introverts is that they don’t like social situations. For example, I love getting together with friends and talking to people that can handle my communication style, but put me in a classroom or a meeting with many talkative extroverts, I can’t wait to get out and spend some time alone.

Another common myth is that all introverts are shy. Shyness can develop from insecurity and anxiety, but many introverts actually love connecting with people and thrive in more relaxed and intimate social situations. Instead of thinking that introverts innately dislike human contact, I believe that their nervous system is wired differently and is much more sensitive to outside stimuli. With new and unfamiliar situations, introverts are easily drained of energy, needing to recharge by spending some time alone. If they are in their element - if they feel safe, seen, and valued - introverts can be the most talkative and dynamic people in the room.

Sadly, many societies don’t value introversion, especially in schools and the workplace. In Western societies in particular, it seems that extroverts are handsomely rewarded in the public sphere, while introverts, working quietly and often doing an excellent job, get passed for jobs, promotions, and other opportunities. Loudness and assertiveness are seen as competence, while diligence and quietness signal weakness.

I was recently watching a YouTube coaching session with Chris Do, a graphic designer and an incredible design educator at The Futur, and his self-proclaimed introvert client, Rebecca Heinemann. In the video called Secret Power of Introverts - Being A Great Listener ep. 4, Chris turns the table around on introverts because he gets Rebecca to see that, instead of believing that something is wrong with her, she can embrace the way she is and let introversion work for her. As Rebecca talks about her reluctance to approach people and engage in small talk, Chris challenges her to connect with people from an empowered state of mind. Our beliefs are powerful and thinking that we are worth engaging with calms the nervous system down and helps us have a fulfilling exchange with another person. If we start seeing introversion as an asset, we can even feel excited about networking and doing business.

As an introvert himself, Chris talks about being in design meetings with a room full of extroverts talking over each other and feeling petrified to speak up and assert himself. This is where he learned about his superpowers as an introvert. After a particularly intense meeting, his boss noticed that he was quiet and asked him his opinion on the presentation. Chris answered with a very thoughtful and cohesive strategy on how to improve a design discussed at the meeting. From then on, his boss always knew where to go for smart advice. This important experience taught Chris that his power lies in being an excellent listener, soaking up all the information, and giving himself time to think about everyone’s and his own opinion to formulate a win-win scenario for the design team. For me, listening lets us “see into” people and connect on a much deeper level that allows us to understand others and their needs. In workplaces and personal relationships, this quality is priceless.

Chris discovered his second superpower as he started valuing himself more. Since everyone stopped to listen to him when he did talk, his words weighed a lot and he could transform the vibe in a room as he wished. Because people responded to him positively, he realized that he has power to shape energy around him. Chris also discovered that his tendency to think deeply and have a rich inner life gave him an incredible manifesting ability. He could visualize what he wanted and was usually able to see it come to fruition. When he was living through situations that he clearly pictured in his mind, he felt a sense of déjà vu, as if he had experienced the same situation before. Through empowering himself, Chris was eventually able to show up in the world with confidence and, using his empathetic traits, has helped many people including Rebecca to thrive in life and business. In fact, serving others and showing them how they can cultivate confidence has been his greatest fulfillment and his most cherished superpower.  

So, what are some practical steps that other introverts can take to tap into their superpowers? Chris suggests to Rebecca that the first step is to accept herself as she is an to stop caring about what others think. Appreciating ourselves and believing that there is nothing wrong with us is important so that we can feel relaxed enough to let go of control in social situations. The second step is to commit to making important changes in our life and see introversion as an asset rather than an excuse to limit ourselves. With commitment to change, we can start getting out of our comfort zone every single day. It is a good idea to ask a friend or hire a coach to hold us accountable for accomplishing our goals. Lastly, Chris encourages Rebecca to trust the transformation process and to go with it even though he sees that she is resistant to some of the advice he is giving her. In my experience, resistance is a sign that I am confronting something important and that I should examine how I feel about what I am resisting. Is it something that will benefit me in the long run? Am I resisting change because of fear or because the change is not aligned with my desires?

I am not at all surprised that introverts are well-represented in creative fields since thoughtfulness and introspection are very conducive to creativity. I often marvel at the courage it takes for artists to put their work out there for everyone to judge. It is truly a paradox since artists tend to be the most resistant to this kind of social exposure. There must be something about introversion that helps artists deeply connect with their audience. I believe it is their ability to be alone, to feel the depths of their emotions, to be intimately familiar with their own inner landscape which they can energetically transmit to the audience. Interestingly, many performers note that they experience a high after a play or a concert because they feel that they become one with the audience through an equal exchange of energy. The superpower to merge with others is another important introvert superpower. This superpower allows introverts to receive energy that is freely given to them and to give out energy that they desire to share with others. Extroverts, of course, have many incredible superpowers as well. The big question is, will the West finally recognize the riches of the subtle introvert? 

Lessons in Stumbling on a Creative Path

Reflection and Artwork by Sebila Kratovac

My confidence as an artist and my self-worth as a human being has been tested many times in my life but a memory from my eleventh-grade art class comes to mind very vividly. In high school, art classes were my only refuge from feeling like an alien in the American Deep South. I loved drawing, painting, and sculpting and remember only feeling joyful in art classes. In this particular art class however, I had a teacher who very much disliked my art. Despite not being supported by this teacher, I decided to enter a high school art competition that year. The teacher was shocked and displeased when my painting received an honorable mention. This happened to me again in graduate school for science, where I was discouraged and unsupported by my “advisors” but I still continued to go forward and eventually got great feedback from other people who were more receptive to what I was trying to do.

So many of us hear our calling to create – an urge which is deeply connected to our joy and soul purpose. It can be heartbreaking to discover that others don’t recognize our great potential and passion for what we want to do. In a recent episode of her podcast Magic Lessons called "Who Gets To Decide Whether You're A Legitimate Artist?", Elizabeth Gilbert interviews Cecilia, a young poet whose love for poetry was tested when she tried to apply for MFA programs in poetry. Despite writing poetry from youth and loving the process, Cecilia stopped writing after all the schools she applied to didn’t admit her. She felt absolutely crushed and conflicted because she saw herself as a talented poet while the “experts” didn’t feel the same way. How was she to trust herself ever again? Luckily, Gilbert, a writer of the beloved book Eat, Pray, Love, who went through her fair share of criticism, gave Cecilia some great advice on how to continue committing to her craft.

First, Gilbert compassionately reminded the young poet that she doesn’t need anyone’s permission to do what she loves – no teacher, no “expert”, no parents, no friends, no one but herself. She gave Cecilia an assignment to create her own diploma so that she can give herself permission to continue writing poetry and to think of herself as a poet. To me, the handmade diploma is a symbol for our faith in ourselves and commitment to staying true to what lights us up. Many now-famous artists and writers have had to overcome ridicule and constant rejections. Gilbert’s second guest, poet and spiritual adviser Mark Depo, gives a striking example of the celebrated American author Herman Melville. When Melville presented his book Moby Dick to the world, he was laughed at, shamed, and banished from his writing community. Melville even stopped writing for a while. Today, Moby Dick is considered by many as a masterpiece and one of the greatest books of all time. The impressionistic painter Vincent van Gogh found himself in a very similar situation. Despite being rejected by his peers and never selling a painting in his lifetime, he continued to paint passionately until his death. Nowadays, he is one of the most revered and loved painters because people from all walks of life recognize something very special about his art. No critic can take the magic away from what he created. Gilbert goes on to highlight the importance of looking into history to feel that we are a part of a larger and timeless network of creative people that went through the same struggles but persevered.

In essence, the experience we go through when we are rejected is a path of self-acceptance and of living a life we desire despite all outside forces telling us otherwise. The final advice that Gilbert gives Cecilia is to focus on writing her poetry without the pressure of putting her work out there for one full year. This advice may seem counter-intuitive or even crazy but when we are not pressured to put out artwork that gets likes on social media or approval from critics, we finally may be able to let go of resistance enough to start creating what we want. Even seeing that we are more productive can improve our self-esteem. The bonus comes when we realize that we have accomplished what we never thought we could and that we created work we are really proud of. From this empowered state, putting our work out there when we are ready might not feel as scary since our worth would no longer be tied to what others say about our art. In Cecilia’s case, there are many reasons why she wasn’t admitted into graduate school including that it just wasn’t the right time for her. She could have been scared to send in her most-cherished poems because of her need to fit in. Now that she can have time and space to work on her poetry and strengthen her confidence, she may not even feel compelled to go to graduate school after all. Situations that to us seem crushing, can teach us to believe in our own worth and to project this confidence into the world, releasing our dependence on the outside world to tell us who we should be.

I wonder what compelled me to defy my art teacher and believe in myself enough to enter the high school art competition. Maybe it was my rebellious nature which loves to prove wrong those who think that there is the right way to create art, or possibly my intuitive knowing that art is my calling, that gave me the courage to stand up for myself. The golden thread that I see running through Cecilia’s and my own life experience is the necessity to stick to doing what we love and what sounds true to us. Through committing to our truth, we can develop unshakable confidence, even if it is at first a symptom of our defiance. As we embody confidence, we can attract other people to us who truly appreciate what we do. We are then supported for who we are, not for what others expect from us. I am reminded of one of my favorite artists, Kate Bush, who decided to introduce herself to the world with the song Wuthering Heights. Everyone in the music industry said that the song would end her career before it started. She could have debuted with a pop song but she knew that she wouldn’t be speaking to an audience that would support her authentic self. Wuthering Heights, as strange and alien as it was to untrained ears used to pop music, became Bush’s most iconic song and inspired many artists in the 80s and beyond to embrace the unusual.

Building Authentic Creative Communities

Artwork and Reflection by Sebila Kratovac

Living in New York City throughout my 20s, I became disillusioned with what it means to belong to a creative community. As an artist and a creative, I tried to figure out how to make artist friends without success. Either I wasn’t “cool” enough, self-destructive enough, or technically skilled enough to find the right fit for me so I developed a negative view of artist communities in general. My perceived failure to belong to a creative community in NYC planted a seed of unworthiness into my subconscious, a self-sabotaging belief that I somehow would never belong to anything just the way I am.

The fact that many artists, including me, are introverts, at least most of the time, led me on a path of isolation, loneliness, and stuckness. I am still on this journey of finding my “tribe” and have recently come across very informative YouTube vlogs (4 Ways to Build Creative Community and How I Built a Creative Community That Kicked Off My Creative Career) by Tom Froese, a very talented illustrator and educator. In his story-infused videos, Froese talks about how he brought himself out of depression by building a creative community around him before the days of social media. He mentions ways in which he connected with other creatives, initiating relationships that helped him become more confident and inspired to pursue an illustration career. But how does an introvert with limiting beliefs become a creative community builder?

Froese describes how his yearning for being seen and appreciated for who he is became a strong motivation for him to share his art. He started with blogging - sharing his thoughts, song lyrics, digital photography, and other creations. Once he gained a following, he slowly developed confidence and created his own meetup group Creative Breakfast. Taking a small step such as sharing our art on Instagram so that people can find us can be a powerful catalyst for getting unstuck. This way, we can attract an audience and can get our followers involved with our creative process. For example, Froese started posting illustrations of noses on Instagram every day for 100 days under the hashtag #the100dayproject. As he received more interest in his art, he began engaging with his followers by commenting on their posts and leaving positive feedback, as well as answering all their questions. Social media can be a great tool to attract people who match our interests and many people who meet through social media go on to start online communities through Zoom and other digital platforms. 

This amount of online engagement can seem intimidating and exposing to a lot of introverts and I have found myself coming in and out of social media when it begins to feel too overwhelming for me. But, luckily, there are many alternative ways to engage with other creatives. If you are more comfortable connecting with others in person, you can create a workshop, a meetup group, or an event such as a dance party or a potluck where creatives with similar interests and values can come together. Froese talks about going to conferences for creatives where he made many personal and business connections. From my own experience, taking a course or pursuing further education in a desired creative field will automatically give you access to other creatives, feedback, and mentorship. You can also seek out mentorship outside of academia so don’t be afraid to reach out to more experienced creatives for help. 

What if there aren’t many physical opportunities to meet creatives in your area? Since big cities are becoming too expensive for artists, Froese suggests to search online for smaller, more affordable towns with burgeoning artist communities and see if moving to one of them is a good choice for you. If moving is not possible, collaborating with other creatives remotely could be a good way to create deeper relationships with others. Collaborations are also a great way to get inspired, learn from others, get feedback, or just to be held accountable for creating new artwork.

How can we make the first step to put ourselves out there? What has helped me is to make peace with my discomfort in certain social situations. It is okay to feel anxious, slow to trust, or uncertain about how to create boundaries with people. But, since most of us, introverts included, want to connect with others - to be seen and heard – we can take small steps toward connecting with others, even if it seems uncomfortable in the beginning. To make the process less stressful, we can think about how we want to feel around people we want to connect with and imagine we are already surrounded by our tribe. We can pay attention to how we feel when we meet people and ask ourselves “Do I feel good around this person or am I pursuing this relationship because I feel lonely?” Most of us have a desire to belong, but at what price? One of Froese’s greatest takeaways is that the best way to become unstuck and authentically connect with others is to build our own creative communities, on our own terms. This way, we can attract people to us through freely sharing who we are, be it by writing a blog or posting our artwork. Connecting with people takes vulnerability and an open heart ready to risk disappointment. As long as we can cultivate courage and healthy boundaries (this comes with life experience), as well as patience for authentic connection, we will eventually find what we are looking for and thrive.

The Artist’s Dream: From Resistance to Inspiration

A drawing using my non-dominant right hand. Such a fun exercise and surprisingly easy and flowing!

Reflection and Artwork by Sebila Kratovac

There is nothing so frightening yet full of possibilities than a blank page. We have all been there. I believe that we are born with the ability to create freely and abundantly but, as we grow up, we learn that things should not come so easily to us and that we have to work very hard to create anything worthwhile. Resistance creeps in and we manifest the pain that we originally believed was necessary to create what we desire. Inspiration, which is available to us as the air we breathe, seems to be in short supply and only accessible to “true artists.”

Creatives often find themselves in a situation where their passion is to make art but inspiration doesn’t always show up when they wish to create. They feel guilty, overwhelmed, and stressed out, an emotional space that can easily lead to a self-sabotaging downward spiral. Kendyll Hillegas, a freelance illustrator, talks about her struggle to keep inspired in her YouTube video The Truth About Inspiration for Artists and Illustrators. She believes that inspiration comes once we commit to a particular creative practice through all the trials and tribulations that can come with resistance. This period of testing our commitment is crucial to finding our true passion. If we find that we cannot stick with something through completion, we are then free to explore different ways to create or even completely change our direction in life.

Breaking through resistance and letting inspiration flow is not an easy endeavor, even when we fully commit to pursuing our passion. To complicate matters even more, resistance seems to be proportional to how much we love the work we do. In his must-read book The War of Art, dealing with ways to conquer resistance, Steven Pressfield writes that “the more Resistance you experience, the more important your unmanifested art/project/enterprise is to you - and the more gratification you will feel when you finally do it.” Where does this blockage to inspiration come from? Sometimes we are resistant because of perfectionism or pressure we put on ourselves to create in a particular way. In Hillegas’ case, she resisted her art practice because of pressure she put on herself to draw realistically. But, with constantly asking herself “Is this what I really am interested in and passionate about?” she found that the blood, sweat, and tears she put into her artwork were worth it. After that first breakthrough, Hillegas felt inspired to continue with realistic drawing, feeling more joyful and excited to see how she can improve her drawings with more experience.

As Pressfield puts it, by committing to creating something we love, we have earned favor of the muses and are now magnetized to attract synchronicities, guidance, mentors, insights, and ideas to help us get inspired. So, what are some of the ways that we can open up to inspiration? One way to get inspired is to bypass the brain circuits which we usually employ when we are attempting to create. For example, we can write down poems or stream-of-consciousness thoughts, draw or sculpt, or even brush our teeth using our non-dominant hand. As we are creating new brain circuits, we are also strengthening communication between the left and right brain hemispheres. Another way to trick our brain to welcome inspiration is to switch our tasks drastically. Instead of sitting frustrated at our desk, we can go out for a walk, prepare a delicious meal, or watch comedy skits for an hour. Connecting with others – going for a coffee with a friend, playing with our pets, spending time with loved ones – has the power to shift our mind from contraction to expansion. Movement, especially freestyle movement, can prepare our body and mind for inspiration. Yoga, sports, dancing, walking, and any other forms of movement increase the flow of energy and oxygen throughout the body and make us feel more embodied, grounded, and present. We feel that we can take up space and create, that our actions can impact something out there in the world. Far from distractions, these exercises are meant to save us time and energy we spend on resistance so we can get to the fun stuff.

For some people, bringing their mind and body into a relaxed state can be the most effective way to release resistance. Taking a bath, listening to soothing music, going to a sound healing class, having a hypnotherapy session, trying yin/restorative yoga and yoga nidra, and starting to meditate with binaural beats can bring the brain into the alpha and theta wave states of deep relaxation, priming us for receiving inspiration. And for an even deeper state of relaxation, how about taking a nap? Getting our brain to the delta wave state during sleep, gives us access to our subconscious through our dreams. Paying attention to our dreams can be a huge gold mine for inspiration. To go even further, exploring lucid dreaming (a dream state in which we are aware that we are dreaming and are able to influence the dream) can help us see that we have the power to create our own reality and that there is nothing that can stop us from creating anything we want.

When nothing else works, all we can do is surrender to the fact that we are not in a place to be inspired. As Hillegas advises, we can give ourselves some time and space to come back to this journey of creating. In her channeling work through Abraham, Esther Hicks talks about how each morning is a new opportunity to live our best life. When we are in that zero-point neutral state, before any negative thought enters our mind, everything is possible, even letting go of resistance. Coming to terms with how we are feeling, we can then move on with our day, wake up the next day refreshed, and start over anew.