Cultivating Presence in an Increasingly Digital World

Reflection and Artwork by Sebila Kratovac

Working on the land in New Mexico, planting, watering, caring for plants, taking time to notice all the creatures, colors, and shapes around me, must have been the first time in my adult life where I felt completely present. I was more in tune with my needs, I ate food that I planted, I gazed at the stars every night, and I woke up at sunrise for meditation, yoga, and birdsong. For most of us, these moment of enjoyment and presence are rare, and we are conditioned to feel guilty when we aren’t fully participating in the demands of the society. It is not necessarily realistic for most of us to leave the lives we know and go live on a farm but there are many small changes we can make to feel the joy of connecting with others and nature. I was inspired to write about presence when listening to one of my favorite podcasts, Design Matters with Debbie Millman. In an episode with filmmaker and author Tiffany Shlain, Tiffany and Debbie discuss how simple changes in our lifestyles can make a huge difference in the quality and enjoyment of our lives. These changes can help us be more creative, enjoy other people’s company, be more productive, deal better with fear and anxiety, and become greater manifestors.

Children in today’s age grow up with cellphones and screens, and have little time connecting eye-to-eye with other children and even their parents. Most people work a job where they are at the computer most of the day and this doesn’t stop after they go home. Tiffany’s biggest epiphany on her journey to more presence was giving up all screen time on Sundays, a journey that her whole family embarked on. She talks about feeling as if she was resuscitated – everything became more real and enjoyable, and her relationship with her husband and kids became stronger and more intimate. I never thought about how I have been impacted by being on my computer every day for hours until I remembered my time working on a farm in New Mexico. An extension to this advice is to go back to the analog way of doing things at least for some part of our day. For example, use a watch instead of checking time on your phone. You can read a physical book, draw or pain using physical art supplies and paper, write a letter with pen and paper to someone, get a landline so that you don’t have to depend on cellphone towers, burn candles instead of having artificial lights on, or ride a bike instead of driving a car.

Journaling, writing by hand to transmit thoughts onto a page, is another great tool for staying present. Writing can also be seen as a form of meditation, a way to become conscious of what is hiding in our subconscious mind and to be present with our thoughts, desires, and needs. The more we get to know who we are, the more we can manifest what we desire in our lives. Another form of meditation that I particularly love is walking. I prefer walking in nature but walking anywhere helps me ground and relax while noticing everything around me and feeling each step I take. If I am in a forest or garden, I can also connect to the energy of peace and beauty of nature and embody these qualities. I also love petting my cat Poey, looking into his eyes and imagining my energy going to my heart center. This heart centering exercise is hard for me but I keep practicing it because I know that being in my head makes me anxious and reactive. If I am unable to take a walk, I try to sit in silence and do nothing for a little while. This can turn into a meditation session, but it doesn’t have to be so structured. I also love sitting still when I am in nature and listening to all the organic sounds which are, to me, just as healing as silence.

When was the last time you really connected with someone without a phone or other distractions? When I moved to the US, one of the biggest culture shocks I experienced was that people didn’t take time to talk and get to know each other. Meeting up with people was always about doing an activity or having a short coffee break or meal. To me, these interactions felt so cold and superficial that it was very hard for me to make good friends and deep lasting connections. I am a great supporter of the art of listening deeply to one another, having empathy, and showing our vulnerable self and I hope that deep relationships will make a come-back in the Western society. I think that our priorities would have to change from prioritizing work, technology, and how to get ahead to investing more time in high-quality lasting connections and taking time for leisure and hobbies.

Another one of my favorite ways to cultivate presence is to move my body. Walking in nature is a no-brainer for me but so is dance, yoga, tai chi, pilates, and other forms of exercise. We all have different preferences, but as long as we can move in some way to oxygenate our blood and move energy throughout the body, we can be more aware of how our body feels, of our boundaries, how we show up in the world, and how we engage with life. Noticing how our body feels is an important element of an incredible meditation technique called Vipassana. In Vipassana, the meditators scan their body to notice any sensations that each part of the body holds. If there is any pain or discomfort, the ideas is to stay with the feeling until it vanishes. This meditation method also shows us that we experience emotions and sensations inside each moment and that these experiences are of temporary nature. If we can live presently through these uncomfortable feelings, we can live more aware, healthier, and purposeful lives.

For me, presence comes down to feeling good in my own skin - embodied, grounded, integrated. I am also practicing what it feels like connecting from the heart with others and the environment around me. This concept may seem a bit too abstract but it is very important because connection is essential for optimal physical, mental, and emotional health. The fear and anxiety we feel when meeting people is kind of a resistance to presence. We can push through this resistance if we realize that we are otherwise cutting ourselves from our life supply - heart energy we call love. Love, however, isn’t a temporary fix to our problems but something that comes hand-in-hand with healing the parts of us that make us feel empty inside. Love, to me, means wholeness, vitality, and unstoppable creativity. We all have this capability inside us that is waiting to be nourished and expressed.

On this episode Debbie talks to Tiffany Shlain about cell phones have taken over our lives.

Tips for Building a Supportive and Thriving Following

Reflection and Artwork by Sebila Kratovac

We don’t need anyone to give us permission to be an artist, and we don’t even have to show our work to anyone. But what if we want to create art that is seen by others, art that helps us engage and connect with other people? I have always felt that the relationship between our self-worth and how we see ourselves in the world is closely related to how we connect with others. The journey that we take to become confident enough as creatives - to even feel worthy to have a loyal and paying audience - is essential to establishing a solid ground on which we can build our creative community and a business. A lot of us expect ourselves to follow a certain protocol toward success in order to establish a steady fan base and continuous income. Although some people are able to accomplish this, most of us have failed many times to learn important lessons in relationship building. But this journey is so valuable because it helps us cultivates confidence in who we are and freedom from caring about what the naysayers think.

In a fascinating Creative Pep Talk podcast 6 Tips on How to Build Your Following + 4 Fan Favorites CPT Ideas of all Time!, the host Andy J. Pizza talks about his own experience in building his creative community and enlists his patrons from Patreon and artist friends to talk about what helped them connect to their audience. The first challenge for us creatives is to develop courage to express our unique selves, no matter how strange and out there our creations seem to be. What comes up for me here is the concept of self-worth or value that we have to offer to the world. I believe that having courage to let our work be seen with confidence is directly proportional to how we see ourselves. Too many creatives have been rejected time and time again for different reasons. Add to it the fact that many of us are very sensitive people, it is truly marvelous that any of us make it through this step. The question to ask is: What will I give up for not having courage/initiative/stamina to show myself as I really am? Of course, taking action to expose ourselves to strangers might be a slow process for some of us but it is a necessary step on our journey.

One way for us to gain confidence is to experiment with different ways of expression and start sharing these experiments with other people until we find something that resonates with a specific audience. Guest Diana Rodriguez, an illustrator focused on body-positivity, suggests that what we put out there has to relate in some way to a specific audience through our unique style and our interests (identity, struggles, belief systems, philosophy, core values, guilty pleasures etc.). This is, in essence, our niche. Let’s say that you are really into astrology, herbalism, colorful magical art, and vegan food. You can build your art and business around these subjects with your unique twist. Personally, what I look for in an artist I want to support is uniqueness and passion for their art (and life!) and their ability to inspire me to do my thing and be my authentic self. One such artist for me is Shayna Klee (aka The Purple Palace) who truly lives a full, magical, and exuberant artist’s life and inspires me to do the same.

As we attract our specific audience, how do we stay connected without trying too hard to please our supporters? What kind of relationship or energy exchange is desirable or even appropriate with our audience? Because this is not an employee/employer relationship, there is a potential to form authentic friendship-based relationships. For me, this step is probably the most difficult one because it demands of me to get out of my comfort zone as an introvert and to risk trusting strangers. It also could be overwhelming to put in the energy needed to form deep and meaningful friendships with strangers I may never meet in person. One way to build trust with people who are supporting us is to be consistent with the quality and frequency of the creations we put out. Of course, sometimes we will not be able to accomplish this but, since we have developed a relationship based on trust, our audience is very likely to be understanding if we slip up sometimes, especially if we explain what is going on. If we think of our audience as collaborators or “climbing partners” as Andy calls them in the podcast, we can view the relationship from a less uptight perspective. We can see that actually we are supporting our audience as well, that we are helping our patrons achieve their dreams.

I am coming back again to what I feel is essential in creating authentic relationships: vulnerability and trust. Another podcast guest, expressive character illustrator Fran Meneses, points out that honesty and vulnerability is the key to building a creative following, even if it means risking negative feedback. It takes this openness to put ourselves out there on Patreon, GoFundMe, YouTube, or any other social media platform to potentially see great rewards. Many creatives struggle to break through this exposure barrier. What has helped me on my journey is to take small steps and work on myself first, to really understand my resistance to opening up to strangers online. It is truly inner work and, if not pursued, can be something that can keep us away from wonderful experiences in life. The biggest lesson I learned is that trust attracts trust. There are exceptions but the risk is worth the effort! For me, patience for myself while allowing myself to make important changes in my life rather than forcing myself to do something I am not comfortable with is a priority. But, maybe it is about not taking ourselves too seriously and committing to having more fun in our lives. As our vibration rises, being able to trust could just be a side effect of living an authentic and joyful life - and then abundance follows.

If you are looking for a boost of creative community in these isolated times: LISTEN TO THIS NOW!!! This episode gave me some serious feelings and I can not wait for you to hear it!! This episode is made up from 3 tips from me, 3 special guests and YOU our patreon backers!!

Building Authentic Creative Communities

Artwork and Reflection by Sebila Kratovac

Living in New York City throughout my 20s, I became disillusioned with what it means to belong to a creative community. As an artist and a creative, I tried to figure out how to make artist friends without success. Either I wasn’t “cool” enough, self-destructive enough, or technically skilled enough to find the right fit for me so I developed a negative view of artist communities in general. My perceived failure to belong to a creative community in NYC planted a seed of unworthiness into my subconscious, a self-sabotaging belief that I somehow would never belong to anything just the way I am.

The fact that many artists, including me, are introverts, at least most of the time, led me on a path of isolation, loneliness, and stuckness. I am still on this journey of finding my “tribe” and have recently come across very informative YouTube vlogs (4 Ways to Build Creative Community and How I Built a Creative Community That Kicked Off My Creative Career) by Tom Froese, a very talented illustrator and educator. In his story-infused videos, Froese talks about how he brought himself out of depression by building a creative community around him before the days of social media. He mentions ways in which he connected with other creatives, initiating relationships that helped him become more confident and inspired to pursue an illustration career. But how does an introvert with limiting beliefs become a creative community builder?

Froese describes how his yearning for being seen and appreciated for who he is became a strong motivation for him to share his art. He started with blogging - sharing his thoughts, song lyrics, digital photography, and other creations. Once he gained a following, he slowly developed confidence and created his own meetup group Creative Breakfast. Taking a small step such as sharing our art on Instagram so that people can find us can be a powerful catalyst for getting unstuck. This way, we can attract an audience and can get our followers involved with our creative process. For example, Froese started posting illustrations of noses on Instagram every day for 100 days under the hashtag #the100dayproject. As he received more interest in his art, he began engaging with his followers by commenting on their posts and leaving positive feedback, as well as answering all their questions. Social media can be a great tool to attract people who match our interests and many people who meet through social media go on to start online communities through Zoom and other digital platforms. 

This amount of online engagement can seem intimidating and exposing to a lot of introverts and I have found myself coming in and out of social media when it begins to feel too overwhelming for me. But, luckily, there are many alternative ways to engage with other creatives. If you are more comfortable connecting with others in person, you can create a workshop, a meetup group, or an event such as a dance party or a potluck where creatives with similar interests and values can come together. Froese talks about going to conferences for creatives where he made many personal and business connections. From my own experience, taking a course or pursuing further education in a desired creative field will automatically give you access to other creatives, feedback, and mentorship. You can also seek out mentorship outside of academia so don’t be afraid to reach out to more experienced creatives for help. 

What if there aren’t many physical opportunities to meet creatives in your area? Since big cities are becoming too expensive for artists, Froese suggests to search online for smaller, more affordable towns with burgeoning artist communities and see if moving to one of them is a good choice for you. If moving is not possible, collaborating with other creatives remotely could be a good way to create deeper relationships with others. Collaborations are also a great way to get inspired, learn from others, get feedback, or just to be held accountable for creating new artwork.

How can we make the first step to put ourselves out there? What has helped me is to make peace with my discomfort in certain social situations. It is okay to feel anxious, slow to trust, or uncertain about how to create boundaries with people. But, since most of us, introverts included, want to connect with others - to be seen and heard – we can take small steps toward connecting with others, even if it seems uncomfortable in the beginning. To make the process less stressful, we can think about how we want to feel around people we want to connect with and imagine we are already surrounded by our tribe. We can pay attention to how we feel when we meet people and ask ourselves “Do I feel good around this person or am I pursuing this relationship because I feel lonely?” Most of us have a desire to belong, but at what price? One of Froese’s greatest takeaways is that the best way to become unstuck and authentically connect with others is to build our own creative communities, on our own terms. This way, we can attract people to us through freely sharing who we are, be it by writing a blog or posting our artwork. Connecting with people takes vulnerability and an open heart ready to risk disappointment. As long as we can cultivate courage and healthy boundaries (this comes with life experience), as well as patience for authentic connection, we will eventually find what we are looking for and thrive.

The Artist’s Dream: From Resistance to Inspiration

A drawing using my non-dominant right hand. Such a fun exercise and surprisingly easy and flowing!

Reflection and Artwork by Sebila Kratovac

There is nothing so frightening yet full of possibilities than a blank page. We have all been there. I believe that we are born with the ability to create freely and abundantly but, as we grow up, we learn that things should not come so easily to us and that we have to work very hard to create anything worthwhile. Resistance creeps in and we manifest the pain that we originally believed was necessary to create what we desire. Inspiration, which is available to us as the air we breathe, seems to be in short supply and only accessible to “true artists.”

Creatives often find themselves in a situation where their passion is to make art but inspiration doesn’t always show up when they wish to create. They feel guilty, overwhelmed, and stressed out, an emotional space that can easily lead to a self-sabotaging downward spiral. Kendyll Hillegas, a freelance illustrator, talks about her struggle to keep inspired in her YouTube video The Truth About Inspiration for Artists and Illustrators. She believes that inspiration comes once we commit to a particular creative practice through all the trials and tribulations that can come with resistance. This period of testing our commitment is crucial to finding our true passion. If we find that we cannot stick with something through completion, we are then free to explore different ways to create or even completely change our direction in life.

Breaking through resistance and letting inspiration flow is not an easy endeavor, even when we fully commit to pursuing our passion. To complicate matters even more, resistance seems to be proportional to how much we love the work we do. In his must-read book The War of Art, dealing with ways to conquer resistance, Steven Pressfield writes that “the more Resistance you experience, the more important your unmanifested art/project/enterprise is to you - and the more gratification you will feel when you finally do it.” Where does this blockage to inspiration come from? Sometimes we are resistant because of perfectionism or pressure we put on ourselves to create in a particular way. In Hillegas’ case, she resisted her art practice because of pressure she put on herself to draw realistically. But, with constantly asking herself “Is this what I really am interested in and passionate about?” she found that the blood, sweat, and tears she put into her artwork were worth it. After that first breakthrough, Hillegas felt inspired to continue with realistic drawing, feeling more joyful and excited to see how she can improve her drawings with more experience.

As Pressfield puts it, by committing to creating something we love, we have earned favor of the muses and are now magnetized to attract synchronicities, guidance, mentors, insights, and ideas to help us get inspired. So, what are some of the ways that we can open up to inspiration? One way to get inspired is to bypass the brain circuits which we usually employ when we are attempting to create. For example, we can write down poems or stream-of-consciousness thoughts, draw or sculpt, or even brush our teeth using our non-dominant hand. As we are creating new brain circuits, we are also strengthening communication between the left and right brain hemispheres. Another way to trick our brain to welcome inspiration is to switch our tasks drastically. Instead of sitting frustrated at our desk, we can go out for a walk, prepare a delicious meal, or watch comedy skits for an hour. Connecting with others – going for a coffee with a friend, playing with our pets, spending time with loved ones – has the power to shift our mind from contraction to expansion. Movement, especially freestyle movement, can prepare our body and mind for inspiration. Yoga, sports, dancing, walking, and any other forms of movement increase the flow of energy and oxygen throughout the body and make us feel more embodied, grounded, and present. We feel that we can take up space and create, that our actions can impact something out there in the world. Far from distractions, these exercises are meant to save us time and energy we spend on resistance so we can get to the fun stuff.

For some people, bringing their mind and body into a relaxed state can be the most effective way to release resistance. Taking a bath, listening to soothing music, going to a sound healing class, having a hypnotherapy session, trying yin/restorative yoga and yoga nidra, and starting to meditate with binaural beats can bring the brain into the alpha and theta wave states of deep relaxation, priming us for receiving inspiration. And for an even deeper state of relaxation, how about taking a nap? Getting our brain to the delta wave state during sleep, gives us access to our subconscious through our dreams. Paying attention to our dreams can be a huge gold mine for inspiration. To go even further, exploring lucid dreaming (a dream state in which we are aware that we are dreaming and are able to influence the dream) can help us see that we have the power to create our own reality and that there is nothing that can stop us from creating anything we want.

When nothing else works, all we can do is surrender to the fact that we are not in a place to be inspired. As Hillegas advises, we can give ourselves some time and space to come back to this journey of creating. In her channeling work through Abraham, Esther Hicks talks about how each morning is a new opportunity to live our best life. When we are in that zero-point neutral state, before any negative thought enters our mind, everything is possible, even letting go of resistance. Coming to terms with how we are feeling, we can then move on with our day, wake up the next day refreshed, and start over anew.